It’s night time. And sleep is nowhere near me. I need a paracetamol for I am in pain. I had gone to bed but all I could do is to turn over and over again. My back, wrists, elbows, shoulders and legs –all parts of my body are screaming of pain.
And, at this moment, I am feeling a wee bit disheartened. I don’t know why. So, I thought of writing it all down in hope to be able to straighten my thoughts.
It was a good day today. I did a lot of work and met a new friend in the evening for a coffee. I am impressed with her way of thinking and I believe that this world needs more people like her. I am fortunate that I know a few people like her and they all are my friends as well. We had a good discussion encompassing several topics. Thereafter, I went to a poets’ meet. The place where I went is a huge building. I had to walk a bit more than usual to reach the meeting place. And this little walk drained all the energy out of me. It took a herculean effort for me to reach the meeting place. The gathering was that of about 40 people. Everyone was relaxed, enjoying being together and chatting with each other. At the end of the meeting, the usual exchange of visiting cards and one-to-one talks took place. But all this while I just sat silently in a corner because I was recovering from my fatigue.
After the meeting, I left the place as silently as possible for I desperately needed rest. There are days when my polio stricken body gets unusually tired.
And just a few moments ago, a long forgotten thought came back to me; “I could be broken but I cannot be defeated”. This phrase has been with me for all the time I can remember and without fail it resonates in my mind whenever I am tired.
Nothing has ever been able to defeat me. I have overcome a lot –much more than a typical person does. As I am writing this, sharp pain is causing old memories to come back. My going to school with sweat dripping and flowing from my face. My coming back home in a state of dehydration. My falling down almost every day on roads and sheepishly keeping pain from surfacing on my face. For sure a lot of water has flown under the bridge. But I never got defeated. I always have won.
At this moment, I don’t need a pain killer. I need a will of steel. And I do have such will. I shall not pop a pill. I am going to bear the pain because it tells me my reality, it tells me the purpose of my being, it humbles me, it makes my will to succeed stronger, it makes me feel the importance of love, affection, helping others… and it makes me feel more strongly that this world is in a need of betterment. Sleep or no sleep –nothing can stop me from walking towards my goals. I have walked a long way –that too in a fashion that is good enough for me. But I still do have a long way to go. And I will go on. And on and on.
A few hours ago, in the evening, I was talking to a friend of mine about how our youth is not making full use of their strength and energy. I wish if everyone could see me in pain at present. I wish if people could learn from my example –that no matter how hard your path is –if you are good and if you have the will power –you will always succeed.
I want to tell my readers that life is not all about comfort. Instead, life is actually all about struggle. Do not settle in your comfy cozy corner just because you are blessed with all the resources. What you have is with you so that you can do something for the others. Make a real meaning out of your life.
Good night to all.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.